Make it Special
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I grew up in a household that I know was far from perfect. But, one of the things that made it wonderful was my parents’ relentless pursuit of making moments special. It didn’t matter how many resources they had or how little time, somehow they could always carve out a way to make something meaningful. I seem to have inherited her passion as many of the gestures my mother in particular carried out I continue on with my family.
Now more than ever, when much of life can feel like chaos and the daily sameness can wear on all of us, I think it’s important to take a deep breath and imagine something special — not every day, because every day can’t be magic. But there can be little moments carved out of the daily routine to make space for smiles. These will be what children remember. I am living proof. This may seem like a lot. Some days making it through the day without losing your mind can be battle enough. But that’s ok. The special moments kids remember aren’t usually the grand gestures. I don’t remember much about the Grand Canyon. But I do remember the feeling of curling up in a sleeping bag when I’d wake up with frost on the ceiling of the pop-up camper and I love that memory.
So what kinds of magic can you create this week? Here are a few ideas to get you started…
Eat in an unusual place.
This can be anywhere. Truly. Growing up my mother always initiated breakfast in bed for the birthday boy or girl. While in our teen years we didn’t relish being woken up by the entire family with bed head and halitosis, we secretly would have been crushed if this routine ever died. And getting to eat pancakes or cinnamon rolls in bed? What could be more magical than that? But it doesn’t have to be a birthday to make the monotony of meal time exciting. Take a picnic blanket in the front yard. Let the kids eat at the kitchen counter. Eat drive through fast food in the back of the car. As long as you set it up as an adventure it will likely be one. Another secret I learned from my magic-making mother was to throw together a lunch or random foods and call it a “fun plate.” Today my kids beg for a fun plate, which is literally an assortment of snacks on a plate. Special!
Explore.
Sure, you could call it “going on a walk,” but how much better would it be if you call it “exploring”? A couple of months ago the boys wanted to see what was behind our house in the alleyway. So, we grabbed some exploring gear (flashlights, walking sticks, bug nets) and the trusty dog and set out down the alley in search of adventure. They LOVED it. Seriously, a regular walk would have been over in about 15 minutes. We wandered the neighborhood looking for the unusual or the roads we’d never ventured down for nearly an hour and came home tired, hot, and proud of ourselves!
Be spontaneous.
This can be hard for some, I know. But there have seriously been days when I have no idea what I’m going to do with myself and my two very active boys and I have simply said, “We are getting in the car.” “Where are we going?” they ask. “I don’t know. We will find out,” I say. One such day I pulled over before we even left our street, I found a piece of scrap paper and a pen and started making a list with tiny terribly drawn illustrations. I asked the boys for input and we wrote down all of their favorite vehicles: bulldozer, helicopter, airplane, fire truck, etc. When we had a list of about ten I told them that we were going on a driving scavenger hunt and proceeded to drive all over the area seeking and finding every last vehicle on that list. Did they stay engaged the whole time? Not entirely? But they were so proud of our grand finale when we saw a helicopter on the roof of a hospital!
Use something special.
This may sound strange, but use that thing that’s been sitting around the house collecting dust — the thing that’s usually off limits for the everyday. Eat a feast on fine china (by feast I mean grilled cheese sandwiches and grapes, of course). Play dress up in a wedding dress. Let the kid beat on dad’s guitar and imagine he’s in a band. Whatever it is, the thing probably won’t make it out unscathed. So it’s ok to have some things that are off limits. But holding onto perfect things usually isn’t nearly as much fun as making memories with imperfect things.
No matter what you do to make a moment special this week, remember one thing: it won’t go perfectly. Kids still whined on the scavenger hunt and the exploring trip. I lost my temper at least once. And the house usually was messier after than it was before. But don’t let that stop you. Life isn’t instagram. And special doesn’t mean photo-worthy. If you got messy and forgot to take pictures, you’re probably doing it right.
What about you? Do you remember any special childhood moments? Or, what have you done to create moments of magic yourself?